Mr. Smarty-pants shops for socks Shopping for socks I become frustrated trying to find my type and color. All I know is it's a Gold Toe wool sock named after a city in England, but almost all the Gold Toes seem to be named after cities in England. "Canterbury." "Windsor.""Cambridge." It's such an obvious ploy. A salesperson offers assistance, and I tell her I need a wool Gold Toe named after some city in England, but my problem is I can't remember which city in England is the home of my sock.

As soon as I make my little joke I feel like a dork, because I've told it to the wrong person. A department store salesperson isn't likely to share my urbane cynicism about the shallow pretensions of dress-sock marketing. It probably hasn't even occurred to her that the socks' names come from cities in England.

"Are these the ones you want?" she asks, holding up the "Edinburgh."

"Yes, those are the ones," I reply.

"Edinburgh is in Scotland," she corrects me drily. "What color do you want?"  ¶ 8:45 PM